As society changes, so do the social amenities that prevailed. But class is class and some things we see done in the name of the “princess bride’s wishes” remain in poor taste.
A bridal store reported having a bride ask how to let her guests know that she wanted all of them to dress in black or white or a combination of both. Her wedding theme was that of a black and white ball and she didn’t want it ruined by someone in a blue suit or a colorful print dress. The store gave her good advice – “You Can’t”! One doesn’t tell people what to wear anymore than one would tell a hostess what kind of food to serve. The bride can control the dress of the wedding party, but that is all. She had heard the phrase, “It’s the bride’s day”, but had to learn that it didn’t mean everyone must bow to her wishes. Friends can spread the word but no demands must be made.
Another store reported dealing with a bride who wanted 250 guests to attend her wedding but she planned to walk away from the ceremony and to save money, meet 45 of her favorite guests for a sit down diner at a restaurant. The advice to her was Don’t Do It! She was advised that it would be far better to serve light refreshments to all guests following the ceremony. This would give everyone a chance to extend their best wishes to the couple and socialize with others in attendance. If she wished to celebrate with a special group of friends, she should do it after the official reception. The guiding principle here is that a couple should never do anything to show preferences for one guest over another.
The same advice holds for brides who insist on adding corner copy to their wedding invitation that reads: Cash Gifts Preferred. Granted, more and more couples would prefer cash as a help for a down payment on a house for instance, but that does not mean it is ok to include on the invitation to the ceremony. That kind of news needs to be spread by word of mouth by the bride’s family and friends, or may be included in the website if one has been created. This kind of request is known in some circles as doing a “Kardashian”.
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